Xuxuan Tee

“The Analysis of Toshi’s Penis” The asian penis is a very tiny molecule consisting of a centimeter long head followed by a half inch long shaft. The shaft, being yellow and Asiany, is usually covered in multiple STD-related legions. This can be attributed to the fact that Chinese people fuck all day long. Because this fucking is a constant occurrence sex has lost its pleasurable value. Therefore, Asians have devised tiny efficient penii to help them in their quest to over populate the world. Let’s take for example, the penis of a student here at this boarding school, which by the way is covered with tiny Asian penises, by the name of Matthew Liu. We are using the name Matt Liu because we wish to keep the true identity of this man confidential. Matt Liu’s real name is Toshi. Toshi is a 34 year old porn star with a record-breaking 4 inch long penis. Toshi, with his mammoth penis consistently stars in such films as “The Real Godzilla,” “God’s Penis Attacks Tokyo,” and the popular film, “Will Fuck for Rice.” Toshi also stars in educational films such as, “One Sentence a Day Japanese,” where a 23 year old prostitute teaches English sexual sayings like: “My Grandparents give good head!” and, “First rate cunt lapping!” Toshi, earlier in his career, did a number of homo-erotic pornography in which he set a world record for sucking twenty 3-inch penises to ejaculation in twenty minutes. He also starred in a homo-erotic film by the name of, “Assload of Cocks,” which was a seven film series. He starred in the first six with Ron Jeremy until his ass exploded. Toshi was so amazingly famous that a 96-year old grandpa set himself on fire while jacking off to see Toshi’s newest erotic film. Currently, Toshi’s most popular films are, “Bigger isn’t always better: Massive Midget Erotica,” and, “The 3 Foot-Tall Wonder: A Documentary of the Midget porn industry.” Toshi recently passed away due to a combination of Chlamydia, Crabs, Gonorrhea, AIDS, Penis Lice, Syphilis, Hepatitis B, A, E, C, and possibly D, Scabies, and the fact that he set his dick aflame. Surprisingly, due to the massive deposits of ejaculated cum, his dick stayed aflame for a record-breaking 72 days. To honor his death, a 12-foot statue of his penis was erected in the center of Tokyo. However, at his grave, due to the large number of STDs, nothing within a 12 foot radius is able to live. Stay Tuned for the next installment of “The Histories of Great Penises.”