Train Wreck
An ensemble of a male majority who perform various sexual acts simultaneously on a few consenting females of age. A Train Wreck's strength of cast may consist of four to a baker’s dozen. This starts off with the planning stage, which can also be referred to as ACT I: The Creation, where storyboards of various sexual acts and roles each character will perform, during and after wreckage, will be created. A detailed time line which maps out when these tasks will occur is highly recommended to avoid chaos, confusion, and accidental penetration. This will include, but not limited to, the delegation of sexual acts and duties such as the Dump Truck, Cleveland Steamroll, Houdini, Spinning Dragon, Alabama Hot Pocket, Tub Shot, Donkey Punch, Cincinnati Bowtie, Abe Lincoln, Angry Pirate, and Delhi Dot. Props, such as a horse for a Kentucky Derby, may be permitted. ACT II: The Deed is the execution of the assigned tasks with artistic choreography and precise technique. The male members rally together and place themselves in strategic positions inside the designated Wrecking Zone to effectively perform on the weaker and outnumbered females. A Splash Zone for spectators is recommended. Balance, flow, and creativity with other cast members are crucial in achieving a successful Wreck. Although encounters of unusual male bonding may seem uncomfortable at the time, embracing each cast member as a piece of your body is fundamental in achieving the perfect Wreck. If necessary for improvisation, fluids can be mixed and saturated for the full effect. Various materials such as splooge, shemen, ass mucus, lung butter, muscle milk and pine cones, that present themselves to the Wreck, should be allocated to all receiving females fairly and confidently. If any consenting female asks to stop, she will be reminded she has entered a legally binding verbal contract which cannot be broken. ACT II is complete when all sexual tasks have been accomplished and a rite of passage has been realized. ACT III: The After-Math is recovering and cleansing the Wrecking Zone, Splash Zone and cast for a future Train Wreck. The women will be handed aprons, mops, and various pesticides to disinfect the Wrecking Zone. When the police arrive, all evidence should be stored. Any excess fluids should be bottled and labeled for future wrecking purposes.
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |