townies Tee

A Spiecies unto themselves - The definition of a towny: An unfortunate species who are never going to amount to anything except at best a supermarket cashier (no offence to any nice supermarket cashiers out there) with about five children by the age of 23 - the first of which was concieved when the mother was at or around 12-years-old; it is unlikely that the father would be known as they tend not to stay around for very long - it's possibly some kind of anchient custom. They spend their time at school wasting time and tax payers money whilst making a mockery of anyone who is better than them. It is very rare that you will find a towny who speaks in anything more advanced than duosyllables, unless it is an obsenity, in which case fire away! They also have their own branch of language, encorporating words such as: ka-ching (money), bling-bling (odd shiny objects of some kind) and 'fuckin innit-like' (presumably some kind of greeting?) Other words such as chilling, fit and grass have been taken out of context and used to descrice satisfactory, attractive and to tell tales. Townies can be identified by tacky tracksuits, large socks, even larger caps, fake designer labels and 'gold' rings, watches and dog tags which they like to refer to as 'blin-bling'or 'well blingin'. It is believed by other members of the speicies that the more 'blingin' you are, the more highly you should be regarded as a person; civilised people understand that this is rather a bestial trate, however the towny can be excused as their brains are never more than the size of a large raisin. Townies are currently initiated in a tribal warefare with the far superior cults of grebos, punks, skaters, goths excetera. Collectively, these other groups are known as 'alternative'. This is a state of being with which townies narrow minds dissalow them to abide and so and encounter between the two groups usually results in either physical or verbal abuse, granted the fact that the verbal abuse of a townie is rarely more than a string of f's and c's flying around in various directions. In the end just remember one thing: You are better than them; they are to be pittied, not hated.