Tosser

Tosser (North America) A tosser in Britain is just another word for a wanker but in North America it means that among other things. A tosser can come in many shapes and forms. A tosser is moreless an urban male. Most common is the kind of guy that walks around looking like a homo without necessarily being gay. University campuses are typically breeding grounds for this type of person. A dead give away that someone is a tosser is when you see a guy wearing thick framed glasses, carrying his notes or laptop in any sort of over the shoulder man purse and has a rooster style hair do. They like to think they are the bohemian creative class of North America but they’re whores to corporate America as much as anyone as they are sure to have the latest in laptops, cell phones and palm pilots. They can often be found in coffee shops like starbucks, in a classroom showing more enthusiasm than the average student towards their professor’s lesson or on the streets of any big city on a business day. Tossers tend to be liberal which is generally a good thing. I care about the environment and human rights as much as anyone but they make it gay by wearing those little buttons on their man purses and coats that say stuff like “Take Action Now”, “Lower Tuition Fees” and the classic “AIDS. Don’t Ignore It”. You may be a tosser if… You are a male You go to University and are in a liberal arts program You grab your ankles You tell adults you know about your school program You frequent internet cafes You have a job writing for a magazine You can’t bench press your own weight You buy coffee from starbucks You carry a laptop in a man purse You did not play any sports in high school You go shopping with your mommy like a sissy You have a job at the body shop You gel your hair in a rooster style You are an advocate for smart cars and other green technology You wrote or are writing a thesis You talk to people about your stress levels or exam schedule You listen to pussy music like Coldplay or Sam Roberts You look towards Europe for fashion and style inspiration You have a lot of female friends that you have no sexual attraction to You say you care about world poverty but all you do is write about it You do ballet, theater or are a member of a wussy sports program like rowing If you said yes to a lot of this, you need to stop being a little queerass toss bag and grow a pair.