Torontosis

Torontosis (pronunciation: tor-on-TO-sis) A common condition usually caught from extended time periods spent in the Toronto area. It usually goes unnoticed in Toronto because it is so endemic to the area it is often overlooked. Characterized by extremist views and behaviours which annoy and set them apart from the wider community. Symptoms vary but often include: 1. Overwhelming need to natter on about their overly-specific interest area. Re-directs or relates all conversation back to their fixation. 2. Driving non-infected persons away with a condescending attitude/cult-like zeal/boring endless talk on one subject. 3. Annoyance at anyone who does not know the detailed minutia of, or enjoy their over-specific interests. 4. Extreme dietary restrictions. 5. Condescending attitude towards anyone who enjoys mainstream art, music, products, or alignment with a political party that currently has elected members in government. 6. Only willing to eat/buy products that follow an unreasonably narrow moral guideline. 7. Are incapable of controlling their need to berate others about how immorally they live their lives. Treatment: The only known treatment for Torontosis is to spend significant amounts of time away from their tiny community of people who share their worldview. Time in smaller cities or the countryside is best. Torontosis is one strain of a disease that plague other major cities, such as NewYorkosis, Londonitis, Seattle Syndrome, and Vancoveriasis.