Tom-Tom-Longhammer
Tom-Tom-Longhammer is a slang term that denotes a man who is slightly cross-eyed, with pigeon feet and tall in stature (over 6ft 3in), yet, between his legs hangs an enormous penis, called a Longhammer. The prefix of this compound word originates from the idea that if said person was a Native American, his tribal name would be Tom-Tom. It is not unusual for a Tom-Tom-Longhammer to be exceptionally well endowed--often resembling a deformed cucumber whose nutrient source during gestational timeframes was a synthesized form of growth hormone that is currently banned in most countries except North Korea where it is used for artificial excess growth in vegetable production. This uniquely sized penis is also used a counter weight that swings to and fro, like a pendulum, neutralizing the opposing motion created by the large anatomically incorrect pigeon feet. It has been said that a Tom-Tom-Longhammer is the most loyal person you will ever meet. He is generous and kind, albeit awkward in nearly all social settings due to his enormous wanker. When a Tom-Tom-Longhammer gets angry, he immediately and instinctively takes off all of his cloths and begins to violently masturbate while going completely crosseyed. It is best to maintain a safe distance from a Tom-Tom-Longhammer when he feels threatened.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.
Wore it to school.
Love this shirt so much
I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
Fun and soft.
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
mine says "ass" on it lol
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |