The 'Tail' Of Lobster-Ass

Derived from an ancient story of French decent. The French bastards were searching for the lost city of Heracleum. Egypt was desperately trying to locate their city of gold which had become submerged under water some 2300 years ago (rough estimate). Egypt was well on their way to locating the city when they discovered the technique of tying pyramid rocks to their asses to pull them down significantly faster. French also had a good technique, they would take live lobsters and shove them up their ass so the tail would stick out and flap around acting as a propeller. There is no clear evidence as to who discovered this city, if it was discovered at all. Some say it was discovered but kept hidden. It is fairly evident that the Egyptians technique did not work considering 45 of the 46 test dummies never surfaced again. The only person to surface only did so because when he got to the bottom he allegedly shoved a lobster up his ass to propel him to the top. When he surfaced he had one quote before he died of unknown causes. He said "What the fuck were we thinking?!" in some strange tongue (some believe this tongue to be Egyptian, due to the fact that Egyptian was his nationality).