The Record
A corrupt newspaper produced by students from St. John's University and the College of St. Benedict in Minnesota. Not only do they spend a lot of the student's tuition money producing worthless content that makes my elementary school paper look like the New York Times, they also do not have any clear writing skills to captivate their audience. Also, whoever writes their headlines must have brain damage. Recently, they posted a joke edition of their newspaper and, honestly, I could not tell the difference between this paper and their "serious" ones. I happened to have also noticed that they quoted my definition of a "Bennie" in their article about obesity at CSB. I am not sure how this article did not make the "serious" version of the record because this article is without a doubt true. If you want proof, go to Gorecki during one of the feeding times. It is like watching pigs eating out of a slopper, but much less graceful. The reason why I have to comment on this article is because they misquoted me. They changed my example of "Precious" to "Fat Albert" and took out key parts of the definition like how the Bennies allude to "Benedictine and biblical bullshit" when they are eating. So not only do they talk about worthless information, but they also censor the paper in order to not offend anyone--which is bullshit because if a Bennie was offended, it might try to lose a couple pounds. If the schools knew what was best, they would drop this sorry excuse for a newspaper.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
FUCK you urban dictionary.

My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain
The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.
AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!

I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !
hehe mine said skibidi

Feels great love the shitt
Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.
Wore it to school.
Love this shirt so much

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
Fun and soft.
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |