the massey

the massey is a solitary critter. he can be found in damp and moldy basements, under lumber piles, and occaisionally in the restrooms of some mexican restaurants. he has been known to consume veggie pizzas, dog food, and, in rare sightings, kittens. the massey is believed to be a distant cousin of both the sloth and the mexican jumping bean. if you see the massey, do not approach it, for the massey is best viewed from afar. the massey also randomly explodes into fits of rage therefore it is imperative for massey-watchers to keep their distance. the massey is often confused with surly elderly, bed-ridden males of the homo sapien species.