The Group

Usually consists of a handful of people that cling to each other like baby mice. Members of the group, known as Groupies, are usually so socially inept and weak-minded that any deviation from sanctioned activities is equated as a personal attack on the group entity. Groupies tend to consider themselves elitists, although others tend to consider them utterly atrocious. Attempts to hide their embarrassment usually entail collectively fabricated illusions of success. Unfortunately, for the groupies, their dichotomy is well-documented here as well as on their Myspace® profiles. Every group has what is considered a male group leader, also known as "Head douche." This douche is usually a benign IT weasel, sex toy collector, or blatantly nefarious weakling. A female-esque group leader is also present solely to stave off the sexual frustrations of the other groupies; without her they would just be considered closet homosexuals. Additional group members are few, but usually consist of individuals with far lower levels of self worth or self esteem than the Head Douche. Such individuals usually carry such illustrious careers as grocery store workers, snake charmers, doorknobs, desk jockeys, and career students. Group Activities include playing tiddley winks with no undies on, erotic fantasies of cartoon characters, having multiple illegitimate (illiterate) redneck children, and gay sex.