The Flaming Shit-Dick

When she's sleeping, take a rusty ice pick, and poke her eye out, and then stick your hands in the socket, and pull apart to spread it open as much as possible, don't worry about ripping her skin though, she'll be sleeping. Jerk off into the enlarged eye socket, and then stick your hand up her ass, grab onto some shit, pull it out, and then stick it up your urethra, and then chop your nuts off (you won't need them anymore, you have plenty of shit to impregnate people with now). When she wakes up, act like nothing happened, and accuse her of cheating on you, giving you an excuse to break her legs, then push her down the stairs, then push her back up the stairs, then lock her inside, and then set the house on fire, and then shit (through your dick) all over the burning house.