The Dive
The man’s scalp is smoothly shaved down using lemon juice, coconut oil, and a half pound of home made butter. He then suits up with his roller skates and sets up his diving board for action, but not before lathering his body from the eyebrows down with molasses syrup for friction and so the scalp is favored as the slippery dome and centerpiece of the malicious act. He then looks his victim straight in the ass while he’s tied face down, rear up squirming for help. The man begins to read the Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs to his victim so they both can regurgitate before things really get started. After a couple chapters, the man deeply lathers the victims ass and genitals. He then sets candles up strategically around the victim in a circle, resembling his very own slippery scalp. He then applies the most flammable substance on earth,chlorine trifluoride, to his neck up the center of his scalp and lights it with the nearest candle! He rollerskates viciously to the diving board and leaps head first into the ass of the victim! At this point they’re both in the most terrible pain of their lives, and will remember this feeling even after death. The diver spins on his head with his toes in the air causing a flaming drill sensation in the asshole and stomach of the victim, leaving a giant bloody hole where his ass used to be. He then rubs sardine infested cream cheese in his face, and repeats the entire act until the victim has just barely a head remaining.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.
ThIs is perfect
Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.
This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.
My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.
Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!
The T-shirt was a birthday gift for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it.
Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.
My wife absolutely loves her new T-shirt.
This looks like a weird design but it looks cool
This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.
Absolutely wonderful product! I bought this shirt for my son and he gagged with joy! Mariah Careystmas everyone!
I love it I bought me and my family some
Glad I had utmost FREEDOM OF SPEECH to express in articulate detail what evv it is the fk i was on a rant about that day. I haven't even received my shirt. I just a few moments ago placed the order. That is how pleased 😄 I am. Fk yeah fk yeah. Very empowering experience. My thoughts turned into type, that made some shi# happen. Having freedom of expression was most definitely...one fk ton of fun. A fk ton can be quantified as exuberance an joy beyond expectation. Fk yeah fk yeah. Awesome>>>
Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...
Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Very comfortable and love the tyoeface
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |