Teszler

A hungarian surname which directly translates to "monster truck that walks like a man". It is possible to detect the approach of a Teszler by both the tremularity of the ground and the sudden excitement of all farm animals in the area (if you suspect that a Teszler might be in the area it is advised that you securely restrain all of your livestock, as they may attempt to flee). Surprisingly, Teszlers have small penises, but they make up for it by having seven of them. The name "Teszler" first appeared in Szolnok in the year 1288 with Ada the Whale Tamer (this being all the more impressive as Szolnok is about three hundred miles from the nearest ocean). Her descendants went on to declare war on France and win so easily that the French voluntarily set fire to all of their historians so that future generations would not have to live with the shame. Ada's children (of which their were only four), however, preserved the story using the world's first word processing machines, which they later destroyed so as to not make everyone else feel bad.