Telfland
Telfland! (known by non Telfs as Telford Town Park.). A normal recreational area by day, dickhead central by night. Telfland is the Mecca for all Telfs, each paying homage most Friday nights for the weekly piss up (where many Telford girls will be impregnated in the sandpit ‘nice’). This involves a 3 litre bottle of cheap cider being passed around amongst a group of ‘talented’ (can spit up to 10m away at innocent passers by) individuals. This fine alcoholic beverage allows for the Telf to lose all inhibitions (i.e. self respect and human decency, not that they had any before) and become aggressive feeling the need to start on random people. This ritual of cheap alcohol and of course ‘fags’ enlightens the sad pathetic little life of the Telf and is looked forward to with great enthusiasm in the week leading up to its arrival, ‘coming up Telfland Friday mate?’. Well lets face it’s surely more stimulating than sitting on a wall outside the local shops terrorising customers into purchasing ‘booze’ for them, after school, that is if the Telf has decided that he or she will grace school life with their presence because lets not forget the Telf is a highly intelligent breed and does not require education. Appropriate greeting upon entering Telfland requires spiting near the other Telf but making sure as not to splash their cheap imitation Rockports (Rockfords) which will disintegrate, and of course the clashing of knuckles while reciting ‘Safe!!!’. Suitable dress code if attending a Telfland function is the standard ‘gear’ (see Telford girl for excellent description).
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
mine says "ass" on it lol
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day
shirt made me cum
Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating
people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart
Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!
Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡
The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂
My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.
Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition
BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |