Tank slapper

The aftermath of a very rare and extraordinary poo. A tank slapper requires the coming together of a unique arrangement of circumstances not encountered on a frequent basis. Firstly the poo being ejected must be firm, ideally smooth, definitely not sticky and have some elastic properties. Secondly the body from which the poo is being ejected, must be longitudinally centred and slightly forward on the pan. The sphincter must not be too slack or overly encumbered by anal beard, this is to ensure maximum velosity on exit and reduce any parasitic friction. If these properties are met, the poo will launch out of the anus. It will hit the forward side of the pan, adjacent to the bowl water. Ricochet on to the back pan, leaving two perfectly vertical skid marks in front and behind the bowl water. This is a tank slapper.