tan

(verb): the act of messing up in a big way; failure; the name of a supposed curse spawned by gymnast Kevin Tan, whose failure was so massive it has allegedly begun to plague other athletes during the Olympic Games in Beijing 2008. Synonyms: Besides "epic failure", it's argued that "alicia" could be synonymous, named after the female gymnast who messed up pretty badly the next night. However, this is debatable since (1) her failure was not as epic and (2) in going with the "curse" theory, Tan's massive failure was such that it probably affected her performance, making it his fault, which is why she was briefly dubbed as "Alicia Tan" and "She-Tan". Antonyms: Win, Success, Phelps (although this is debatable, since Michael Phelps seems to be the only athlete in the country not affected by the Tan curse. Because he appears to be keeping "epic win" to himself, it can safely be assumed that he is a selfish douche bag. It can also be assumed that he is not taking NBC to the prom.) "Tan Curse": Believed to have been caused by Kevin Tan's epic fail, so epic in fact that it is thought to have settled like a cloud over Beijing. Some people remain unaffected, and it's suspected that this is due to rubbing themselves against Michael Phelps in order to remove the fail they've been stained with. (Note: May be where the tens of thousands of extra condoms are going). "Tanada": Nickname for Canada, who continues to be one of the few developed nations without a single medal to their name. There is some debate as to whether or not this is appropriate as they were failing before Kevin Tan's major screw up. Some even go so far as to suggest it that Canada's failure is more massive than Kevin Tan's, since no man can fail harder than an entire country, and that perhaps, the curse is really the fault of Canada, and not one Kevin Tan. This is unlikely for two reasons: (1) Canada's fail is self-containing (2) Canada's fail is temporary, as it's accepted that they will own the planet at the Winter Olympics.