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Stripper Retirement

Stripper Retirement; When a stripper reaches retirement age which, depending on her condition, can be anywhere after age 28 she will go out and get herself knocked up by the best, well meaning, horny, yet stupid man she can find. He will most likely have a solid job history, good income, and decent credit rating, but he will still be homely and stupid. After she pumps out her kid(s), she will leave the entertainment industry to sit at home, devour endless snacks, and collect child support checks and/or leach of any man stupid enough to support her. All this while she mostly ignores her kid(s) except to feed them grape drink or rice & beans. She will occasionally pawn them off on relatives, or send them out to play in traffic. They will forever be in and out of juvenile detention. This former stripper is set for the 18 years that her kid(s) allow her to suck child support out of her baby’s daddy. Years full of all day naps and useless daytime TV. She will be oblivious to the fact that in all likelihood she has created what will become more worthless, irresponsible, slovenly people who will do more to drain the economy than to support it.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
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The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.

Dian C. Aug 5
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Got it for a friend! He loved it

Roger M. Apr 20
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Exactly what I expected, thanks!

Alison B. Dec 23
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So cool to quickly be able to turn a trending phrase into wearable art!

Clint N. Dec 17
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I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.

kimberly m. Nov 18
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My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.

Jorge A. Nov 10
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Review by Gabe L.

Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!

Gabe L. Nov 8
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Review by Am R.

Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.

Am R. Nov 5
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This looks like a weird design but it looks cool

Aiden Oct 30

Another hit!

John E. Sep 25
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Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻

Beren S. Sep 24
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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S. Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E. Sep 5
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Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J. Sep 2
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FUCK you urban dictionary.

Nah N. Aug 21

hehe mine said skibidi

alpha g. Jul 22

Wore it to school.

Monica L. Jun 28

Love this shirt so much

Joey L. Jun 16
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Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
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Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

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Size Guide

Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!

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Size Chart

Size Length Width
XS27"16½"
S28"18"
M29"20"
L30"22"
XL31"24"
2XL32"26"
3XL33"28"
Size Length Width
XS69 cm42 cm
S71 cm46 cm
M74 cm51 cm
L76 cm56 cm
XL79 cm61 cm
2XL81 cm66 cm
3XL84 cm71 cm

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