Stepjohn

The guy who isn't your dad, that your mom is long term dating, but you don't call dad, who probably isn't going to marry your mom, and you're probably not going to call dad if he did. He appears at the prospect of free rent and free reign in a home he did nothing to build, usually a few years in the wake of your mom's divorce. The diametric byproduct of departure by, and equivalent evil to, the Deadbeat Dad. Contraction of Step Parent and John, to denote the awkward dynamic of a random dude that you owe nothing to suddenly guiding the life decisions of the only family member you somewhat concern for the well being of. Hobbies Include: Drinking/Drugging with your mom Not having/keeping a job Unearned familiarity Appearing to have no friends or family in the area besides your mom Not in contact with his own kids Banging your mom