Steel Wool Virgin tee

A Steel Wool Virgin is when you are having sex with a woman for the first time and her pubic hair has the consistency and feel of a Brillo Pad (and she doesn't know because no one's ever told her). The coarse, wiry pubic hair, in itself, is not generally the problem; if you are careful, it can be avoided. The problem is when those hairs are long enough to find their way into the mouth of the vagina during sex & make the penis feel like it is being cut by a couple dozen mini-razor blades through out the act. The man is usually too afraid to voice the painful concern's of his penis out of fear that it may end that first encounter & the last thing you want to do is give her a complex. After a few dates, casually bringing up that you like it when women shave usually does the trick with out upsetting her (But, Steel Wool Virgins Must Continue To Shave on a Regular Basis. The only thing worse than the original steel wool hair is feeling that area with three day's worth of stubble. Its like rubbing your testicles with fish wrapped in wet sandpaper. When this happens, the woman is "Deforested", meaning the trees have all been cut down, but the stumps are all still there). On the whole, its not her fault that she doesn't know that she feels like you're having sex with a garbage disposal, so its your responsibility to find a way to change that (specifically before scabs start to form...). If all goes right, but you do break up eventually, you'll be doing the next guy a huge favor.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

  • Soft, lightweight everyday tee
  • Comfortable unisex fit
  • Combed and ring-spun cotton blend
  • Pre-shrunk fabric with a tear-away label
  • Bella+Canvas 3001
  • Every order personally reviewed
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S. Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E. Sep 5
✓ Verified Purchase

Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J. Sep 2
✓ Verified Purchase

FUCK you urban dictionary.

Nah N. Aug 21
Review by Malachy G.

My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain

Malachy G. Aug 6
✓ Verified Purchase

The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.

Dian C. Aug 5
✓ Verified Purchase

AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!

scarlett Jul 31
Review by Kristen G.

I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !

Kristen G. Jul 22
✓ Verified Purchase

hehe mine said skibidi

alpha g. Jul 22
Review by Fred F.

Feels great love the shitt

Fred F. Jul 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.

Smitha M. Jul 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Wore it to school.

Monica L. Jun 28

Love this shirt so much

Joey L. Jun 16
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by No M.

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.

No M. Jun 15

This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
✓ Verified Purchase

Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase
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