Spontaneous Combustion

A totally real medical condition. This condition is found primarily in small children and the elderly. When one spontaneously combusts, their overall body heat has to exceed 2341 degrees Fahrenheit. Generally, it is very noticeable when someone combusts. Their hair is immediately singed off, leaving them with a brand new shiny bald head (good riddance, that umbrella cut was UGLY!), and they essentially, burst open. Their organs and guts splat all across the ground, but most of the time their insides were already turned to ash, so you don't have to see their disgusting insides. It has also been totally medically proven that when one has a large ego, specifically 13-14 year old boys, they are more prone to combustion. In fact, their spontaneous combustion rate is 95% more than small children and the elderly. Signs of combustion- Dizziness, nausea, inflated ego (for some), excessive masturbation, consumption of oil or white-out, and trying to become a spice king on TikTik, because we know that ain't gonna end well. And remember--when you see a child about to combust, take it across the room until it is behind some sort of barrier. When an elderly person is about to combust, just run. And finally, when you see a teenage male about to combust, scream and run because you know that this is gonna be intense.