Split-it

split-it verb (colloquial, euphemistic; vulgar-slang, chiefly British) Definition: To luxuriate in a moment of solitary pleasure; typically involving a freshly made bed, an artisanal coffee, a feline companion of discerning temperament, and the climactic indulgence of self-intimacy. The phrase draws whimsical reference from the anatomical act of splitting it, a metaphorical nod to the bifurcation of the labia during said solitary encounter. Etymology: Modern British slang. A playful conflation of genteel self-care and unabashed self-love. Said to have originated from the ritualistic ‘breaking-in’ of one’s own bed with all the essentials : cat, caffeine, and climax. See also: me-time, clitoral cottagecore, flatwarming