Spigot

(n) The individual in a group who is responsible for talking to an authority figure if necessary when committing frowned upon or illegal acts because they are the most capable of opening up and having a conversation with authority or people in uniform. Typically the only white person. If all members of the group are non-white it is also considered safe to assign this duty to a woman in the group assuming equal education levels. If all members are non-white males then the member with the highest level of completed education will fulfill this duty. When all else is equal the member who has gone the longest since last consuming drugs will fill in for this role.