SPH

Acronym for "Sandwiches Per Hour." The amount of sandwiches a female can produce in an hour. SPH provides an effective way to quantitatively asses the dedication, heart, and steadfastness of potential mates. SPH is a rating which each female carries with her for the entirety of her life. Each female should be able to state her SPH at any time upon request. It is necessary to constantly train and thus increase this attribute. In order to create a fair and standardized assessment, the SPH ratings committee implemented clause 1.19, which calls for a protocol of turkey and ham sandwich-making as the means of receiving ones rating. It is common to receive specialized ratings in sandwich-related fields including but not limited to grilled cheese, grilled chicken, ham and swiss and PB&J. SPH is often used in conjunction with Hotness and Personality to derive an entirely new equation with which to judge women, however this is out of the scope of this entry.