Seattle

1) City to which summer visitors move and end up slitting their wrists in February following 60-plus days of rain; 2) City that's still trying to get mileage off grunge music, over-roasted coffee beans, malfunctioning computer operating systems, and a dying aerospace industry; 3) City with its head so far up its own ass, it may as well rain for the next hundred years (and just might), because the hood-eyed freaks and pseudo-intellectuals wouldn't know the difference; 4) City whose Space Needle ensures that they will never be more than a West Coast, all-white Atlanta; and whose homogeneity takes all the credibility out of their so-called "tolerance." 4) City that is also called the "Emerald City" to lure ignorant tourists; in reality, is more than a little bit dark and evil - a true Scorpio city that could be the setting for a TV series based on "The Omen"; 5) City motto: "Seattle: You're so close to Vancouver, why the hell are you living here?"