Sarah Palin

Second-Rate Cougar from Alaska whom the Republicans bafflingly believe is somehow qualified to be "next in line" after having governed a lightly populated state for all of a year and a half. Delivered a shrill, bitter speech at the Republican convention and will likely be buried by Joe Biden in the upcoming VP debates. Has pregnant, unmarried teen daughter, who will soon marry white trash father. Supports white trash activities, such as aerial wolf-hunting, protesting pro-choice groups and marrying rednecks. Attended 5 third-rate colleges in 5 years, finally graduating from the vaunted University of Idaho. Running mate to a guy who has one leg and two bum arms already in the grave.