Sad Boner
sad boner (noun): A melancholic phenomenon that occurs when one's nether regions become engorged with gloomy desires. This peculiar state of arousal brings about a simultaneous surge of longing and despair, making it the perfect embodiment of Emo or Goth sensibilities. Originating from the depths of existential angst, a sad boner stands as a symbol of a tormented soul, trapped in a physical manifestation of emotional turmoil. It is an embodiment of the eternal struggle between desire and desolation, where the body yearns for pleasure while the mind wallows in melancholy. This unique state of erection, often cloaked in black attire and adorned with sorrowful accessories, embodies a paradoxical fusion of longing and hopelessness. The sad boner's somber aura is best complemented by dark eyeliner, brooding music, and poetic soliloquies about the futility of existence. To experience a sad boner is to dwell in the twilight realm of desire, where pleasure and pain intertwine like vines in a neglected cemetery. It is a paradoxical dance of excitement and sorrow, evoking a morose aesthetic that could make even Edgar Allan Poe shed a tear of grim admiration. Caution should be exercised when encountering a sad boner, as attempting to assuage its melancholy with conventional means of arousal may prove futile. Only the gentle touch of an understanding soul, versed in the art of consoling melancholia, stands a chance of appeasing this enigmatic entity.
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |