Russell, Ontario

Small town near Ottawa named after a racist slave master that was ranked 3rd best place to live in Canada in 2018. If you want to live here you must be a entitled government worker or arrogant cop. The town is pretty quiet and very few businesses there, most are in neighbouring Embrun. The few businesses in town are run by people that look like they hate their lives and want to hang themselves. The real excitement locals like to do is walk their dogs around town and complain about everything on local Facebook groups. If your over 65 you go to the Tim Hortons to sit with other unhappy old farts sipping a expensive small coffee starting rumors/spreading gossip. For a true seasoned Russellite you must find out when your neighbor is working in the office that week so you can go over to make love to their spouse. The town also has 15 massage therapists, locals are so stressed out working from home. Domino's is the only place that delivers food and the car can be seen all over town driving like a stoned maniac. The town teenagers have formed local gangs that consist of the pyjama pants vapers and Furies that dress up as animals. They control the south part of town and do drugs under the bridge and make out in the back of U-Haul trucks. Also If you are not white Anglo Saxon or French you will most likely be bullied out of town.