radium

fat, mentally unstable, physically repulsive serial sexual harasser. Optimistic by nature, the typical radium will always believe he is one spittle laden offensive remark away from getting laid. Countless rejections, often violent in nature will not diminish a radium's resolve to have any physical interaction whatsoever with a female, in order to embellish it into a story. When reality sets in, a radium can become clinically depressed, as might be expected for a creature that is verging on the obese, horrifyingly unattractive, generally unliked and mistrusted. Overuse of drugs can temporarily hold off this situation, but risks cyclical committal to a mental institution for rehabilitation. This, however, will not concern the radium at all, providing him with another story that he can convince himself is something to be proudly recounted to others.