Publix

n. (PUH-blicks) An American grocery store chain focused on exemplary customer service and associate ownership. Originally founded in Florida by George Jenkins on the key concept that any act of kindness short of allowing oneself to be anally raped is a model of customer service and is the key to success. Similar to another Florida establishment, Disney World, the customers must always retain their pretentiousness and be falsely immersed in a "fantasy land" where everyone smiles and nobody has ever experienced pain in their lives. Failure to retain the "fantasy land" atmosphere results in immediate termination of the associate's employment, thereby disregarding the toil and effort placed into the company, and forcing said employee to begin anew with time and money wasted on a Ponzi-like stock plan. Publix is responsible for the coddling of the American public, as higher-than-standard expectations are maintained at all times, and the customers are always served beyond expectations. It is grounded in the cornerstone philosophy that the smile of one greedy, witless customer is worth more value than all of the lives of all the associates within the store.