Porch Porn

noun Also Porch-porn, Porchporn 1. The act of setting up a glitter bomb, dye trap, or any other “gotcha” decoy package on your doorstep for the sole purpose of filming a porch pirate getting humiliated — then uploading the footage for clout, moral superiority, and a little sparkly revenge. 2. Vigilantism rebranded as content creation. A suburban spectator sport where petty theft becomes a viral kink for people who get their dopamine from watching someone explode in glitter instead of personal growth. 3. The digital-age stocks: you bait the thief, the thief takes the bait, the internet gets a show, and everyone pretends it’s about justice instead of views.