Pirate

The most badass category of humans to ever walk the face of the earth. Pirates don't give a fat shit about anything, don't listen to any type of authority, get shit faced 24/7 off rum, and spend their lives kicking ass and sailing around on a giant ass ship. Instead of just executing traitors like a sensible human, pirates used to tie them to their mobile ass kicking platform (ship) and throw them overboard to drag them around the ocean where they would slap against the side of the ship and get fucked up by all the barnacles on the side. Is that not the most savage thing you've ever heard? Numerous studies by credible scientific journals have also came to a net conclusion in the past years that if you don't think pirates are the coolest you're probably a huge pussy. "Wow urban dictionary poster, Pirates sound fucking cool. It sucks they only existed in the 18th century." My friend. Anybody can become a pirate if they just believe. That and if they exhibit fine pirate traits such as not giving a dogs ass about anything, taking whatever they want whenever they want, and exclaiming badass phrases like "AARRR" when about to do something reckless like punching your boss in the face or going on to the Disney channel website without your parents permission. Notable modern pirates include Chris Pontius, Stephen Colbert, Sid from toy story, and of course the father of the modern pirate, Bill Clinton. "Pirate" can also be used as an adjective. See below for examples.