pedophobia

An irrational, often hysterical fear that afflicts many parents. It involves the delusion that perverts wearing trenchcoats are lurking behind every bush with pockets full of candy. Parents with this disorder have an obsessive compulsion to keep their children, even teenagers, under constant surveillance. They egotistically assume that a pervert would WANT their children, even though they tend to be just as dull and unattractive as the parents that spawned them. These parents tend to be highly suggestible, and a large majority watch FOX News regularly. Other symptoms include frequent bouts of paranoia and melodramatic behavior. Sadly, most will not be cured before they have passed the disease on to their children.