Pea

A small orb like vegetable which belongs to the family of vegetables called Green Things, the latin name for which is Peamus. Peas can be shot out of tubes from your mouth or buttocks via a tube at unsuspecting passers-bye. This practice was first used by the Irish sailors who's boats could not carry loads heavier than a sack of potatoes. Instead of firing cannonballs and enemy ships, they peppered them with peas. However, as they were not frozen, they merely dissintegrated upon impact. Another use for peas are for motorists. They can be placed inbetween the grooves in tyres to make makeshift slick tyres. This use for peas was again invented by the Irish who are usually too poor to buy slick tyres.