Old Bridge

A town of 60,000 people in Middlesex County, New Jersey, bisected by Route 9, but so dull and devoid of any worth that Bruce Springsteen gave up on writing a song about it around 1978 or so. The town was formerly known as Madison Township. The name was changed in 1975 because the natives weren't smart enough to tell the difference between themselves and Madison Borough in North Jersey's Morris County. Arch-rival of neighboring East Brunswick, and their jocks like to head up Route 18 to the Brunswick Square Mall and parade around in their purple-and-black OBHS varsity jackets as if they own the place, wondering why none of the storeclerks have what they want in stock. Then they go out to the parking lot and smoke, and wonder if it can get any better than this. Since they live in Old Bridge, it can't. You can't spell "SLOB" without "OB."