oklahoma

1) Worthless waste land somewhere between Texas and the North Pole. Often used as a substitute for the word "Egypt" in the phrase "bum-f*king-Egypt" referring to a place far away from any civilization. 2) Same thing as Texas, only with much smaller penises. 3) Cultural backwater of the Universe. Everything closes at 9pm, and the only thing to do is go to work or get drunk (not necessarily in that order.) 4) One of the few states lacking ability to recruit or keep a serious major league sports team, with the exception of the Hornets, but only by default from hurricane Katrina. 5) A place where people dress up in their finest boots and shirts to drive 30 miles to the next town and shop Wal-Mart. 6) A state whose idea of "art" is badly-made cowboy paintings for sale at truck-stops. 7) A place where employers still have a depression-era mentality thinking you should be glad to have your job being paid less than a third of what anyone else in the country makes for doing the same thing. 8) A place where football is God, and everything stands still for two or three hours every Saturday afternoon in the Fall when college teams play. 9) A place where bar women are so ugly that making them look better takes two fifths instead of one. 10) People who have Texas-envy. 11) People who drive to Gainesville Texas so they can skip out on paying Oklahoma State Sales taxes. 12) People who drive eight hours to buy porno in Dallas because it actually has penetrated women in it. 13) A state that sells liquor, lottery tickets, and horse betting but refused until recently to let people get tatoos. 14) A state where the main city raises sales taxes to build a worthless boat canal to nowhere downtown while the schools are rotting and kids have no textbooks. 15) A state where the local jails beat the crap out of more people than the Federal pen does. 16) A state whose small towns gain the majority of revenues from bogus traffic tickets, while their high-schools drown in a sea of drugs. 17) A state where people still mail-order clothes from Sears Roebuck. 18) A state whose banks are so corrupt and in debt they have to sell out to bigger banks from Texas, and then flee to resorts in Florida.