Ohio

Second most boring state in the nation. Many seek refuge in other states in order to prevent their eventual transformation into an Ohioan; a half-dead species which points at deer whenever they see one in a field, is disgusted with all sports teams that are not part of The Ohio State University, is horribly disgusted with all who do not pronounce the "The" part of aforementioned college with pride, and requires a biweekly trip to Bob Evans in order to prevent starvation. We'd evacuate the entire state if we could, but the only place that would take us would be West Virginia, and we all know that's the only place worse off than us.