northern ireland

Noun: A distinct political unit, for all intents and purposes a country in its own right, located at the top north-east corner of the island of Ireland, comprised of six of the nine counties of Ulster. Also known as God's Own Country or God's Chosen Six Counties, generically as Ulster or the Province, and most often shortened in literature to Norn Iron. A little country of a mere 1.5 million people, where job opportunities and social cohesion are so absent that most of the population drinks heavily and hates everyone else. Vodka is cheap here, as is beer, thank god. Northern Ireland contains everything that is good about the island of Ireland. The Northern Irish people have a dark self-deprecating sense of humour. We also beat England in 2005 in a football match and we'll never let them forget it. Lots of people in Northern Ireland are inbred. Guinness tastes better up here, too. Northern Ireland has many enemies in the wider world, but mostly they are just haters, jealous of Our Wee Country.