Nicklas Backstrom

A fairly talented Swedish Center who is overshadowed by the stacked roster of the Washington Capitals, who were a joke franchise until they somehow got lucky and stole Alexander Ovechkin from the Florida Panthers. This proved once and for all that god believes there should no longer be hockey in Florida and that team needs to move the hell up to Quebec City in the frozen, northern wastes were hockey belongs. Usually mistaken for a woman (must be the hair) and has been mistakenly referred to as "Alex's (Ovechkin) ugly girlfriend" when they go out to the bars. This makes him a horrible wing man when it comes down to it. Is there usually to make Ovechkin and Semin look better than they really are by making all the plays that they are too lazy to see. Not to be confused with the other Niklas Backstrom, who is actually a fairly decent goalie for the Minnesota Wild.