ned

For those of us who were not educated at kindergarten, a ned is a person between the ages of around 8 to 18 who speaks with an accent no-one but fellow neds can understand (often saying stuff like ken fit ye bam). Their clothing consists of brightly coloured fake tracksuits and puffa jackets – a warning for people to stay away, similar to the markings of a wasp. Most will sport a radiant tan – although the furthest they’ve been is to a young offenders’ institute.They’ve been Smoking anything from mud to oregano since they were 3 coz they think it’s hard. They to display this ‘hardness’ by constantly having a cigarette behind one ear, an earring in the other and using the middle finger approach at least 32 times a day. They like to wear a ton of gold jewelery; so high quality the gold rubs off. Hobbies of the bam include drinking, burning down buildings, starting fights and shouting abuse at people.