Moxies

A hotter version of the restaurant featured in 'Waiting', albeit with the same sexy shenanigans. The Sodom and Gomorrha of the service industry. the staff is made up largely of sirens and succubi. Once you walk into the bar and grill of hotness, you will not be able to sit across from your significant other and actually finish your food. A long and lengthy period of mutual bitterness and infidelity will result, with both of you needing someone else but being too cowardly to leave the other. Finally she'll blow up at you one day and go back to live with her parents, leaving you to take care of "Stiffler", that miniature pot-bellied pig you both named after making out in American Pies 1, 2, and Wedding. You'll go back to reading Green Lantern comics and similarly pursue a self-destructive streak, until you're found dead in the back of a sushi-bar in Buenos Aires with pigeons pecking MDMA pills out of your cold, lifeless hands.