Mountain Skunk
A mountain skunk refers to a particular type of person that is found at ski and snowboard destinations around the world. They usually have very long, unkept beards with food particles still stuck to them. Mountain skunks are between 16 to 35 years of age, but some have been known to live as long as 50 years. Mountain skunks generally divide their time fairly evenly between smoking weed, drinking, and either skiing or snowboarding. Beyond these recreational activities, mountain skunks do nothing more than eat and occasionally, albeit rarely, bathe. Because of their lack of personal hygiene, mountain skunks usually stink, and this seems to be the origin of the mountain skunk term. It should be noted ski and snowboard destinations have unsuccessfully tried to curb the local mountain skunk populations by steadily increasing their lift ticket prices, but their efforts have been largely unsuccessful. In fact, there are still sizable populations of these creatures at large at most mountain resorts. Mountain skunks will often scoff at and mock most of the well dressed and behaved tourists that frequent their habitats usually calling them "gapers", but people are generally told to ignore them if possible because talking to them (especially the more feral ones) only gets them more agitated and unruly. Yes, the best policy is to let them drown out their own misery in alcohol drugs and prey that they will be in a better place sooner rather than later.
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Size Guide
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A - Length
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Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |