Mid life douche crisis tee

Mid 30s white suburban parents who try to act like 20 year old bros Signs include but not limited to: American Fighter/affliction or some bullshit shirt about how they’re so offensive and don’t care, obviousLy on roids, overly tan, usually talks about the going to the lake all the time. Exorbitant amount of overpriced product stickers (RTIC, Yeti, Malibu boats and a punisher logo for some reason) on his lifted Jeep with no doors or jacked up F250 and off roading consists of median hopping to avoid suburb traffic jams. Dresses kids in expensive athletic gear (compression pants under basketball shorts) like they are pro’s when little billy’s jump shot sucks and daddy is in denial. Overuse of “bro”, your 38 years old Tom, stop saying that. Miserable behind closed doors *Exorbitant amount of credit card debt to keep up the appearance of the good life Their kids are spoiled little fuckboys who think they are special but are just like every other twat waffle in town. I live around these societal crotchstains and I hate it. Cypress, TX has some good people in it, it’s the asshats who think that because they’re family sits in the front row at church and rubs elbows with the pastor, it makes them part of the “in crowd” People don’t envy your family, it’s annoying and sad. Have some substance in your life and stop being a shallow pool of cloudy douche water.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

  • Soft, lightweight everyday tee
  • Comfortable unisex fit
  • Combed and ring-spun cotton blend
  • Pre-shrunk fabric with a tear-away label
  • Bella+Canvas 3001
  • Every order personally reviewed
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S. Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E. Sep 5
✓ Verified Purchase

Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J. Sep 2
✓ Verified Purchase

FUCK you urban dictionary.

Nah N. Aug 21
Review by Malachy G.

My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain

Malachy G. Aug 6
✓ Verified Purchase

The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.

Dian C. Aug 5
✓ Verified Purchase

AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!

scarlett Jul 31
Review by Kristen G.

I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !

Kristen G. Jul 22
✓ Verified Purchase

hehe mine said skibidi

alpha g. Jul 22
Review by Fred F.

Feels great love the shitt

Fred F. Jul 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.

Smitha M. Jul 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Wore it to school.

Monica L. Jun 28

Love this shirt so much

Joey L. Jun 16
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by No M.

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.

No M. Jun 15

This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
✓ Verified Purchase

Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10

Ally B. May 20

Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!

M U. May 16
✓ Verified Purchase
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