Miami Hurricanes

1. The "mascot" of a supposed college football program located in Coral Gables, FL, that actually is a semi-pro team since the alumni pay for their athletes and hence, their national championships. 2. What low class, poor, ghetto dwelling thugs think the University of Miami is actually called because: a) They don't realize it's actually a school of higher learning and not a pro team b) They have never been to the campus (or any campus for that matter) c) They couldn't find Coral Gables, FL on a map d) They could never afford to take a class at the school anyway. 3. The college football program that is most envious of the years of dominance that the Florida State University football program enjoyed during the late 80's and throughout the 90's, setting several NCAA records and winning two national championships while stringing together an unprecedented 14 straight top 5 finishes and bowl appearances. 4. The college football program located in Coral Gables, FL that will spend 2-3 years atop the polls, then runs out of money to pay players, and sinks to the level of an also-ran team that loses annually to West Virginia and Virginia Tech until they can save enough money up to pay for more pro caliber players. In addition, at least once per decade, they will be placed on NCAA probation.