Matrixism
Budding religion being promoted by illiterate teenagers on the internet. Based around the movie The Matrix. Practicioners believe the real world is a hoax that's being pulled on us by robots, space aliens, or multinational corporations depeding on which one you ask. The key to open the door to perception is often thought to be acid, mushrooms, or some other drug. Because if the hippies taught us anything, they taught us that all the stuff you see on acid is real and makes perfect sense. Hey, good luck with that, guys. There are several interesting parallels between the Matrix movies and the New Testament, however: -In both cases, they start off with a somewhat reluctant Messiah figure who somehow transcends mortality before whizzing off into space (end of the first Matrix movie, Jesus' bodily assumption into heaven). -Said Messiah figure says many interesting things, such as "Blessed are the meek" (New Testament), or "Whoa" (The Matrix). -Both the Matrix movies and the New Testament start out well but eventually meander off into a disorganized pile of crap into which the authors threw every half-assed idea they could think of. -Both end with a denouement that makes absolutely no sense and is completely unsatisfying. Given the success of New Testament Christianity, Matrixism may well have what it takes to be a contender on the world's religious stage.
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Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |