Marion, IL

A town of 17,000 serving as the county seat of Williamson County in Southern Illinois. The town was originally a swamp, just like Orlando, again proving that "you can drain the swamp from the land, but not from the people." The town's mayor, Bob Butler, has been in office continuously since 1963 and is most likely a Federal plant, owing to the large Shawnee Forest National Park's collection of munitions, a General Dynamics Ordnance arms manufacturing plant which may produce as much as 30% of the nation's ammunition, a local FBI branch headquarters, and the United States Penitentiary, Marion (built in 1963) serving as a replacement for Alcatraz. Other major employers (besides the Federal Government) include Pepsi MidAmerica, with a mansion for the owners, the reportedly "dickish" Crisp family, located directly behind the complex so they can more effectively lord over them; AISEN manufacturing where rednecks and Japanese collide in something resembling an imported game show; and several insurance companies, banks, and hotels, Marion acting as a traditional Midwestern pit-stop town between Chicago, St. Louis., Memphis, and other cities more notable and livable.