macaroni monster

Descriptive term for any fat bastard who puts on a football uniform and calls himself an athlete. Most often, it's a linebacker who weighs over 300 pounds and has tree trunks for legs, an ass so large it deserves its own zip code, and a gut that hangs down so far that he can't see his junk. Without the uniform, he'd look like a beer-guzzling hot-dog noshing lardass fan. But, put a number on his back, some padding, and helmet and he gets paid millions of dollars to stand in middle of a football field and push other macaroni monsters. Examples: William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Aaron Gibson, Terrance "Pot Roast" Knighton