long island girl

Today, we salute you, trendy Long Island girl. In your retarded furry boots, you understand that following a crowd is a small price to pay for the approval of your peers. Sure, your huge overpriced designer handbag and oversized pearls may appear to have been stolen from your grandmother, but we rest assured that your daddy bought them for you fair and square. And yes, you may be snobby to every guy that approaches you, but we know that you're only doing them a favor because you are in fact a bitch with an annoying accent. So here's to you trendy Long Island girl, because everyone knows that behind your dyed blonde hair and falsely-tanned skin there sits a real person in the driver's seat of that Lexus SUV; and that real person... is a pale brunette. So do us all a favor and go back.