lifeguard
This profession is commonly misconstrued to be related to a worthwhile human existence, one consisting of preventing harm and saving the lives of our fellow human beings. This idea is entirely wrong. The lifeguard can be found sitting, sleeping, laying down, or staring randomly at any pool in the country. Upon close study of this creature, it becomes obvious that while the lifeguard is "scanning" the pool he is actually looking for any sign of a 1000 mile meteor, fireball, thunder, horseman, alien, black hole, and pretty much any sign indicating the end of the world. This can be due to the extreme suicidal nature of every lifeguard. In conclusion, all lifeguards would like everyone to know that anyone entering the pool is subject to immediate hatred and a plethora of death wishes/curses by the lifeguard. Lifeguard Doctrine: person other than lifeguard + pool = suicide
The Urban Dictionary Tee
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
Fun and soft.
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
mine says "ass" on it lol
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day
shirt made me cum
Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating
people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart
Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!
Review Details
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Debug: Product Metadata
| Key | Value (click to copy) |
|---|---|
|
Copied!
|
|
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.
Share this product
Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |