Lambeth Log-Flume

Popular with the wives of British service men during the early 40s, the Lambeth log-flume was the method of choice for uplifting downtrodden spirits during the Blitzkriegs of London. Just as it was not uncommon for young ladies to experience their first sexual awakening through the vibrations emitted from V-1 doodlebug blasts, desperately pining housewives would routinely proposition the first man they encountered (often a relative) during a Blitz by tying a yellow ribbon around the base of his cock shaft. Tying of the yellow ribbon was instantly recognised as an invitation to partake in the Lambeth log-flume. Spurred on by the vibrations of nearby explosions, the housewife would subtly coax the man into first defecating between her breasts, before urinating into her mouth until the overspill flowed out onto the freshly burdened muddy boob gully – the chocolate torpedo thus resembling a log-flume, surrounded by the flowing rapids of golden cock rain. This scene is re-enacted several times, limited only by the quota of rations that was had on the day.