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Jon

Jon is a man of great substance, and a teller of tales. Jon would sit on his porch surrounded by the vagrants of the world, telling tales of small butt plugs he maneuvered and McGuyvered in times of need; tales of the seedy underbelly of dildo factories, and tales on how to get a free hamburger on a Tuesday, to name a few. Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around. Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards. In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail. The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure. Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail. Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way. On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi 2019-05-31

good very good worth money!

me 2019-05-09

5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious

Ayoush smith 2019-05-07

10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again

Some dude 2019-05-01

gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made

the gooderesting 2019-04-26

Good Decent, comfortable by all means

Juliana 2019-04-06

Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating

Gayagay 2019-03-27

Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡

💆🏻‍♀️琴 2019-03-08

Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition

The person nobody knows 2019-03-05

BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!

student of PP 2019-03-05

Awesome tshirt This tshirt is awesome but my name isn't actually Jayson but i bought it for his b-day

Jayson 2019-03-04

Best This is the best shirt I have ever gotten I love it and I definitly recomend it to any friend named Hailie

JimiTheKiwi 2018-12-17

*clap* *clap* MEME REVIEW. this is so amazing, alexa play despacito 9001

Bailey Dodd 2018-12-06

Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...

cynthia 2018-10-13

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Size Guide

Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!

T-shirt measurements

A - Length

Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem

B - Width

Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit

Size Chart

Size Length Width
XS27"16½"
S28"18"
M29"20"
L30"22"
XL31"24"
2XL32"26"
3XL33"28"
Size Length Width
XS69 cm42 cm
S71 cm46 cm
M74 cm51 cm
L76 cm56 cm
XL79 cm61 cm
2XL81 cm66 cm
3XL84 cm71 cm

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